Above - Tulsa police gather at the scene to discuss selfless bravery of victim.

Man Refuses Treatment for Self-Inflicted Gun Shot Wound Until He Knows His Steaks Will Be Safe

Tulsa Police and EMSA paramedics had to persuade a man who had shot himself in the leg while grilling steaks to go the hospital early Wednesday.

The unidentified man was on the balcony of his apartment near 12th and Gillette when he accidentally shot himself in the leg.

At first he told Tulsa Police he had been robbed and then shot.  

When EMSA showed up, he refused treatment, because he said he was afraid someone would steal his steaks.

Make all the double-entendre jokes you want about David here, but you have to admit dude managed to pack a whole lot more excitement into his morning than any of the rest of us did.

Socorro police said David Quiroz was allegedly trying to steal beer, steaks and other groceries shortly before 8:30 a.m. when he was confronted by employees at the Big 8 store on North Loop. During a struggle with employees and a delivery worker, Quiroz allegedly grabbed the store manager by the crotch and refused to let go.

If you ever find yourself in Buffalo, NY, sign here says this place has great steaks.

Florida - check! Meat down the pants - check! Bicycle getaway - check!

This has all the makings of the most stereotypical of Meat Crimes, but Mr. Thoni went the extra mile, adding an exciting hypodermic needle flourish to the proceedings.

A 47-year-old man took two steaks from the meat aisle and placed the items in his pants.

He then took two cans of Natural Ice while the meat manager at a local grocery store watched, according to his Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office arrest report.

When store employees stopped Christopher Thomas Thoni, he handed over the beers and took the steaks out of his pants, but did not hand them over.

He then pulled out a hypodermic needle and held it “as if he was about to stab someone.” He told the store employees that he would stab them if they did not let him leave, according to his arrest report.

And…Trouser Meat Week continues!

It’s unclear if all that meat was still bouncing around in his pants during the foot chase.

Man Chased Through Town, Tasered After Stuffing $70 Of Meat Down His Pants

North Augusta police chased a shoplifting suspect through town early Wednesday morning, then used a stun gun on the suspect when he tried to flee on foot.

The suspect’s gold Lexus hadn’t left the Kroger parking lot yet before officers pulled up behind it about 7:50 a.m.

The manager of Kroger told deputies Jackson put $70 worth of ribs and steak in his pants and tried to walk out the door.

It will never cease to amaze us how nimble some people can be with ten or more pounds of meat jammed in their trousers.

Man Arrested After Stuffing Eight Steaks Down His Pants

A man stuffed eight steaks in his pants at a Braum’s store and left without paying, but an employee saw him do it and called police. 

With the steaks in his pants, the man passed the checkout stands and got into a car to drive away, an employee told police Thursday.

Thanks to the dastardly meat thief William Henry Payne III, we’ve been able to dust off our old “garbage can full of meat” tag!

Dayton, Ohio Sleeps Easier After Serial Steak Thief Nabbed

As in the two previous cases, Payne allegedly first went to the housewares’ section where he took large wastebaskets with lids off the shelf. He then would go to the meat cases, fill the wastebaskets with steaks and wheel the cart out of the store, according to police.

Steele, the off-duty deputy, said he was in the store’s security office when he saw Payne running out of the store with a cart containing two large wastebaskets. “I assume there was something in those wastebaskets,” he said.

When confronted by security in the parking lot, Payne dumped the cart — spilling the packaged meat across the parking. Payne took off running, and Steele radioed a description.

“I call the big one Bitey…”

Steak Thief Bites Store Manager, Fights Officers

A man is facing multiple charges after deputies say he wrestled with grocery store employees and bit one and then fought with deputies during his arrest — all in connection to the theft of steaks, deputies said.

Man with World’s Roomiest Pair of Shorts Arrested

Employees at Publix say they saw Mark Alan Belkola, 51, select “six individual packs of steaks” and conceal them down the front of his shorts, according to the offense report.

Deputies say they also found Vaseline and a bottle of Pomegranate juice in Belkola’s shorts pocket.

07/14/10 A 34-year-old transient was charged with petty theft after he tried to steal $28 worth of steaks and pork chops by stuffing them down the front of his pants about 5:15 p.m. Thursday at the Publix at 985 Atlantic Blvd. (Atlantic Beach, FL)

7/10/10 Shawn M. Cunningham, 22, was arrested for shoplifting at 11:31 p.m. Thursday after an incident at the downtown Giant Eagle. According to a report, an employee saw Cunningham take three packs of steaks and put them down the front of his pants. After allegedly taking the items, Cunningham reportedly left the store toward the parking lot. Officers stopped Cunningham near the front of Riverview Florist, and the items were still stuffed down the front of his pants, the report indicates. (East Liverpool, OH)

07/07/10 Police are looking for a man who stole meat from the Madison Street Kroger and pulled a knife on the manager. At about 4:30 p.m. Monday, an employee at the store saw the man stealing meat, according to a Clarksville Police Department report.

The manager approached and began escorting the shoplifter to the front of the store. The shoplifter lifted his shirt and dropped some of the meat from his clothing, then pulled out a knife and told the manager to let him go, the report said.

The shoplifter walked out, trailing meat behind him, and ran away. (Clarksville, TN)