Said trouser bacon was valued at $11.49 a pack, so it’s obvious this jolly lass does not mess around with just any old Oscar Mayer.
Boosted Bacon Gets No Further Than Meat Thief’s Pants
A 53-year-old woman apparently didn’t bring home the bacon after a store manager spotted her jamming two packages of the tasty pork product in her pants.
Accused bacon bandit Vivian Nickerson was arrested on a retail theft charge after the Sept. 12 heist at the Save-A-Lot in the 600 block of Delaware Avenue in Fort Pierce, according to a recently released Fort Pierce police report.
Also arrested was accused meat thief Delores Brown, 63, who concealed three roasts and a steak.
(Thanks to Scripps Treasure Coast reporter Will Greenlee, for his ongoing coverage of Florida’s most important Meat Crimes!)
Looks like it’s shaping up to be Trouser Meat week.
Shoplifter Says He Didn’t Steal, Only Put Item In His Pants
A Myrtle Beach Police Department incident report states 35-year-old Scott Horner attempted to steal a package of steaks from the Food Lion grocer on Hwy. 501 Sunday night.
Police say as Horner was being detained he yelled, “I have money for the steaks. I didn’t steal them; I just put them in my pants.”
Meat Crime Blotter
6/29/10 The adage “must have been raised in a barn” seems to describe the thief who left a freezer door open, ruining nearly $300 in meat.
Authorities don’t know whether the thief was vegetarian or why he did not take the meat.
The thief had no qualms about grabbing smokes and beer worth $362.
The theft occurred Saturday or Sunday at a home in the 12000 block of Henderson Lane, which has a Madison address.
Limestone County Sheriff’s Department Chief Investigator Stanley McNatt said the opened freezer door ruined 12 pounds of shrimp, six pounds of chicken and steak and one pound of tuna steak. The owners valued the meat at $295.
McNatt said the thief did take $125 cash, 90 packs of cigarettes and a case of Natural Lite beer. (Madison, AL)
06/22/10 A known Philipsburg man was observed exiting a 74-year-old Philipsburg woman’s home on East Presqueisle Street on Sunday around 5:15 p.m. The woman had told him about a month before that he was not permitted to be at her home. The woman also reported the man had stolen a roast beef from her freezer. The investigation is continuing. (Philipsburg, PA)
If they’d pulled off this heist, something tells me that lobster would currently be skittering around in a grimy bathtub and this guy would be blowing his top because it wouldn’t eat the gummy worms he grabbed it for dinner.
Meat Crime Blotter
04/22/10 A Cleveland man, 45, vomited, then passed out in his car Friday in the Olive Garden parking lot. Police woke him up, and he said he had eaten a steak at the restaurant, then got sick. After further questioning he admitted to having “a few beers.” He had an alcohol content of .16 percent, and was arrested. (Cleveland, OH)
04/18/10 Deputies responded to a call on the 6500 block of Sabado Tarde Rd. of someone throwing eggs off a balcony at nearby cars and passersby.
When officers arrived, they noted a car dripping with egg yolk just as they were welcomed by a descending egg. The 20-year-old male throwing the eggs darted inside the apartment complex as officers ran up the steps. The cops banged on the door until the resident egg-thrower finally opened up.
“I’m being arrested for throwing chicken at people in the roadway, it’s just chicken, smell my fingers and my breath, this is bullshit,” he announced to the officers.
After pointing out a completely empty 18-pack of extra large eggs, he continued, “I bought these eggs at the store, I can own eggs.” Officers searched the roadway for chicken or chicken bones. None were found. (Santa Barbara, CA)
Meat Crime Blotter
04/15/10 Someone stuffed cake under the door handles and smeared cake on the window of a white Pontiac Grand Prix in a parking lot at 100 W. Butterfield Road between 9 p.m. Friday and 8:05 a.m. Saturday. The car owner said someone had put taco meat on the car a month ago. (Elmhurst, IL)
04/15/10 A woman accused someone of placing rotting meat in her trash can Tuesday night on Melton Court. The alleged meat dumper was later admonished. (Red Bluff, CA)
04/14/10 1900 block of Ebenezer Church Road in Coats, reported at 11:57 a.m. Monday, tools, ladder and 12 pounds of bacon taken. (Lillington, NC)
04/14/10 A man was issued a trespass warning after a manager at a grocery store in the 1900 block of Northeast Fifth Avenue saw him stuffing two packs of steak, valued at $20 each, down his pants. (Boca Raton, FL)
Man, Nephew Charged in Dozens of “Car-Hopping” Thefts
We’ve seen a few big time refrigerated truck meat heists involving firearms, but this might be the first localized armed meat robbery we’ve documented. Guy wasn’t looking for cash. Just cold, wet steak.
Be careful out there.
Meat Crime Blotter
03/24/10 Police responded to a call at a house on Cotton Street on Saturday to resolve a fistfight over the size of a steak. (Chapel Hill, NC)
03/23/10 Snack heist foiled. Police responded to a Shell station on South Main Street Saturday on a theft call. Investigation uncovered that three of the suspects were in possession of stolen beef jerky. All three received citations for theft less than $50 and criminal trespass warnings to stay away from the business.
Police arrested a fourth suspect for two outstanding Cleburne warrants. (Cleburne, TX)
3/01/10 7:11 p.m. Sliced ham was placed all over a car. (Lake Oswego, OR)
