You never know when a hankering for pickled pig’s feet might strike. This gentleman understands the forward-thinking practice of “snack insurance.”

Pickled Pig’s Foot, Nibbled Sausage Found in Man’s Undies

A pickled pig’s foot and a partially eaten sausage have a number of things in common.

Both are meat, both are edible and both apparently were in a 50-year-old man’s underwear.

[Jacques] Roy Divido on Nov. 13 had the meats in his skivvies at the Indian River County jail where he’d been taken on a retail theft charge, according to a recently released arrest affidavit.
…
A clerk said Divido ate part of a pickled sausage and “stuffed” the rest in his pants. The pickled wiener was valued at $1.

So much for the theory that sausage tames the savage drunk. He probably should have opted for bacon.

A 44-year-old Hurlock, Md.  woman was arrested Tuesday on charges of assault after she allegedly hit and scratched her husband after he was found cooking sausage early in the morning.
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Cecil Ricardo Wise, who was present during the incident, said Belinda Sparks hit and scratched Kenneth Sparks. Officers noticed a strong odor of alcohol coming from Kenneth and Belinda Sparks, according to charging documents.

(Photo: Bob B. Brown via Flickr)

“Nick Lusk thought the night cleaning crew had done a bad job.

Food was all over the floor. Half-eaten sandwiches and bottles of alcohol were strewn throughout Kritter’z, a Rantoul tavern.

Then he walked behind the bar.

There lay a man, a big man, flat on his stomach.”

Related: If only perp Diego F. Ballesteros had taken tips from this guy who managed to drunkenly break into a bar and cook chicken proper.

Above: Nick Lusk, an employee of the tragically named bar Kritter’z, stands next to where he found the great big drunk guy.

Man, Nephew Charged in Dozens of “Car-Hopping” Thefts

03/18/10 A West Side man is accused of stealing meat from his neighbor’s freezer and trying to sell it on the street.

Randall Prieto, 45, of Elm Street took meat valued at about $100 from Lisa Yancey’s freezer in her Elm Street apartment on March 18, according to a complaint filed in Kanawha Magistrate Court.

Witnesses told police Prieto was spotted trying to sell the meat in front of the Park Place bar on Central Avenue later that day. (Charleston, WV)

02/14/10 Someone from a home on the 22300 block of Tulip Street NW called police to report a burglary. According to the criminal complaint, the homeowner went to bed and woke up to find an unknown man sleeping on the couch. The front door had been kicked in, and the suspect had eaten bread, sausage and a box of ice cream bars. The suspect said he had been dropped off there by a friend sometime in the early morning hours, entered the home and fell asleep on the couch. The suspect admitted that he did not know the homeowner. The 28-year-old St. Francis man was arrested for first-degree burglary. (Oak Grove, MN)

03/21/10 Franklin-based state police were called to an incident involving criminal mischief that happened on Saturday at 4 a.m. at 1844 Hill City Road in Cranberry Township, Venango County. According to the report, suspect(s) attempted to remove a 6 foot yellow light-up chicken sign belonging to Grace Eleanor Remaley. In the process, the suspect(s) damaged the chicken. Estimated amount of damage is $1,000. (Cranberry Township, PA)

03/18/10 4:30 p.m.: A package of bacon bits was stolen from a business in the 1700 block of East Broadway Boulevard. (Sedalia, MO)

03/12/10 An Orangeburg woman said her former boyfriend used a key to enter her home and take a package of sausage, bread and rice, according to an ODPS incident report. He later sent her a text message saying he would replace the items after he gets paid and return the key, she said. (Orangeburg, SC)

01/26/10 A package of baby carrots, plum jam, bell pepper, rib eye steaks, a package of turkey and two packages of bacon were taken from a business in the 400 block of South Montgomery Avenue. (Sheffield, AL)

01/26/10 Burglar hits American Legion - A burglar used a crowbar to break into a storeroom and snatch $40 worth of sausage, bacon and beef patties at the American Legion on Center Street early Sunday morning, Watsonville police said.

The Legion’s security company reported the burglar alarm at 6:45 a.m.

Police searched the neighborhood, but were unable to locate a suspect.

A door and window screen were damaged. (Watsonville, CA)

01/15/10 A couple of unusual - likely unrelated - theft reports have been taken by MPD in the past couple of weeks. One involves beer, the other pizza. On January 11th an employee of the Tilted Kilt Pub & Eatery, 420 Gammon Pl., reported the theft of 10 empty beer kegs. They had been stored outside in a gated area. Surveillance images show two men in a white, 2000 to 2005 Dodge Ram loading the spent barrels into the pickup truck and driving off.

The second theft was reported on January 15th, when a Rockford IL man discovered his Orv’s Pizza van had been broken into and looted of 12 cases - $600 dollars worth - of frozen pies. The van had been parked behind a Cottage Grove Road business.

The pizzas included: four cases of Gino’s deep dish, six cases of Gino’s thin crust, and two cases of Lombardi’s sausage pizza. (Madison, WI)

01/13/10 A resident reported two women on Library Lane were run off the road by a loose chicken. An officer checked the area, but the chicken was gone on arrival. (St. Helena, CA)

12/30/09 Police in Uniontown said a 57-year-old woman threw a hot dog at a restaurant employee after an argument on Monday.

According to police, Ruth Wilson was first upset that workers at Hot Diggity Dogs and Hoagies Too weren’t taking orders at tables and then got into an argument with employees about Christmas.

When employees at the South Beeson Boulevard eatery offered to give Wilson her order to go, Wilson took her food and left the restaurant, returning shortly and throwing a hot dog at employees, police said.

Wilson was cited for harassment in connection with the incident. She is also banned from returning to the restaurant, police said. (Uniontown, PA)

12/29/09 Police are reviewing surveillance tapes from Smart and Final, where they said a man walked in to the store and stole approximately $100 of meat around 4:20 p.m. Monday. (Bullhead City, AZ)

12/28/09 Miroslaw Swierzbinski, 62, was charged with retail theft after being arrested at about 7:15 a.m. Dec. 22 in Westbrook Market, 2065 63rd St., according to Downers Grove police reports.

Swierzbinski was the overnight janitor and was taking items while working, according to reports.

He took deli sausage, Canadian bacon, olive oil, a plastic strainer, Colgate toothpaste $8.97, Golden Pheasant four-pack of beer and a four-pack of Svytury beer, according to reports. The items are valued at $60. (Downers Grove, IL)

12/22/09 An 18-year-old Sag Harbor man was arrested by Southampton Town Police at a residence on the Bridgehampton-Sag Harbor Turnpike at 10:01 p.m. last Thursday, December 17, and charged with second-degree harassment, a violation. Police said the man was involved in a domestic dispute during which he was accused of throwing a sausage, an apple and an orange, hitting the victim in the face numerous times. (Sag Harbor, NY)

12/29/09 A man tried to shoplift $3 worth of sausage from the Kroger at 1555 Wayne Ave. on Monday, Dec. 28, at about 2 a.m., according to Dayton police.

The 50-year-old man walked into the store and headed to the meat case, according to a manager. He grabbed one package of sausages and put them into his right front jeans pocket.

He walked past the register and was prepared to leave when the manager apprehended him and took him to a security area to await police.

Police took him out of the store, but not before the “incredibly intoxicated” man spit on several store items.

He was booked into the Montgomery County Jail. The manager was asked to file a shoplifting complaint. (Dayton, OH)

12/26/09 John William Blanton, 31, of 315 Carlow St., was arrested Thursday and charged with assault and battery of a high and aggravated nature stemming from a physical altercation with his brother.

A sheriff’s deputy responded to a fight in progress at the home of the victim and his mother around 4 p.m. Thursday, and found the victim on the front porch steps of his residence with his face covered with blood.

The victim told authorities that Blanton came to his trailer with a ham, told their mother to cook it and then threw it across the room.

When the victim objected to the way Blanton was speaking to the mother, an incident report states, an argument and shoving match ensued.

The victim stated he turned toward the phone and threatened to call 911, and when he turned back around, Blanton hit him in the face, then got him in a choke hold which caused the victim to nearly black out. (Spartanburg, SC)

12/14/09 PETTY THEFT, BIDDULPH ROAD: A 37-year-old Cleveland man was caught at Giant Eagle trying to shoplift various seafood items Dec. 14 by stuffing them into his pants. The total value of the food items was $148.38. (Cleveland, OH)

12/03/09 BURGLARY, ROBINWOOD AVENUE: At 9:07 p.m. Saturday, a resident reported that his apartment was broken into between 2 and 4 p.m. Nov. 26. His wallet, laptop, a pound of turkey, cheese and some bread were taken. (Lakewood, OH)