Important International Note: The people of Zimbabwe do not pussyfoot around with Meat Criminals.

Also, this is what happens when you name your kid “Never.”

Meat Crimes: Zimbabwe - Chicken Thief Forced to Eat His Loot Raw

POLICE yesterday rescued a chicken thief from Epworth who was being forced to eat raw chickens he had stolen from a Chinamhora family. Never Zhimu had gone on a chicken-stealing expedition but was foiled by vigilant cops who nabbed him at a roadblock in Borrowdale, along Domboshava Road.

Zhimu had stolen eight chickens from a Chinamhora villager Paul Chingondo who stays in Kadyausayi Kraal under Headman Elias Ngoroma (who himself fell victim to the same thief last week). “I was a victim to this menace and I want him prosecuted. “He has been terrorising my kraal to such an extent that my subjects are keeping their chickens and goats inside their bedrooms,” complained the headman.