07/11/11 Someone put a hot dog in a bun with mustard on the doorstep and poured mustard on the door of a residence at the 0-100 block of Dover sometime around 11:23 p.m. on July 11. The resident reported no permanent damage at the time of the report. (LaGrange, IL)

07/25/11 A Hermiston man, in what appeared to be an attempt to win his girlfriend back, left boxes of meat as gifts in the woman’s parking lot. The woman reported to police she did not want the “gifts” and would like the man to come get the meat boxes. (Hermiston, OR)

Since it’s costing him fifteen grand, hopefully the cops still let Mr. Boje chow down his lint-encrusted wiener on the way to the pokey.

Police say alleged hot dog thief had numerous chances to pay

Des Moines police say they gave Zachary Boje numerous chances to pay for the hot dog that he allegedly stuffed in his pants pocket at the QuikTrip store at 1215 Sixth Ave.

Boje, 23, is being held in the Polk County Jail this morning on charges of assault causing injury, resisting arrest and fifth-degree theft. He also is held on warrants for child support violations. Bond is set at $15,000.

….

“He acted like he was going to the counter,” Trimble said. “He asked for a pack of cigarettes and a cigar. Then he asked for a bun. Then he didn’t want to pay for anything.”

“He’d already put his bare hand on the hot dog,” the officer said. “I gave him numerous chances to pay for the hot dog.”

05/05/10 Arrest: On May 5, deputy Wesley Bryant was dispatched to Racetrack Road for a domestic dispute. Bryant arrived to find Jason Casper, 34, in the yard swinging a chair. Casper walked toward Bryant, telling him to shoot him and that he wasn’t afraid of going to jail. Casper claimed his wife and ex-wife were plotting against him. Casper’s wife explained that during a dispute, he cursed in front of their children, threw a hot dog in her face, picked up the bun and smeared it in her face, then hit her with his elbow. Casper was arrested for battery. (Madison, GA)

05/04/10 Slinging beef: At 4:25 a.m. May 4 in the 29625 Pacific Highway South, a suspect threw a bag of beef stroganoff at a convenience store clerk. (Federal Way, WA)

UPDATE: Oh, CNN you are no longer the most trusted name in meat news. Shame on you.

While not a Meat Crime, this is a significant piece of meat news that we just had to share.

Though if some Homer Simpson type mosies along and eats this hot dog, we’ll be sure to upgrade it to Meat Crime status.

When everyone’s sitting around the old folks home, griping about their failing eyesight, at least this guy will have a better story than diabetes.

01/20/10 A man was arrested and charged with retail theft at a store in the 15500 block of Southwest Trail Drive in Indiantown. The man took a bag of beef jerky and a ginger ale and hid them in his waistband. The items were valued at $6.88. (Indiantown, FL)

01/16/10 Cash and two pieces of fried chicken were taken during a burglary at a residence on Barksdale Street between 5 p.m. and 8:30 p.m. Jan. 16. (Gadsden, AL)

01/13/10 A 73-year-old Hazel Crest, Ill., man has been charged with murder in the New Year’s Day stabbing death of an acquaintance after the two argued over the victim eating a hot dog.

James Graham faces a maximum 65-year prison sentence if convicted in the death of David Marx, 53, who was staying with a friend in the 6200 block of Van Buren Avenue, Hammond. (Valparaiso, IN)

01/09/10 At 1:30 p.m. two male suspects were seen in Albertsons in the 7600 block of Firestone to be concealing meat under their shorts. When confronted by store security, one suspect dropped the meat and fled; the other pushed the security officer and ran from the store with the loss. Detectives are investigating the matter. (Downey, CA)

Ah, the old Frankfurter Fall Down.

Since this scam took place in Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Maricopa County, these folks can look forward to suiting up in his signature pink underpants and joining a chain gang dedicated to tidying up the county’s hot dog stands.

Photo via Dalboz17 on Flickr

12/30/09 Police in Uniontown said a 57-year-old woman threw a hot dog at a restaurant employee after an argument on Monday.

According to police, Ruth Wilson was first upset that workers at Hot Diggity Dogs and Hoagies Too weren’t taking orders at tables and then got into an argument with employees about Christmas.

When employees at the South Beeson Boulevard eatery offered to give Wilson her order to go, Wilson took her food and left the restaurant, returning shortly and throwing a hot dog at employees, police said.

Wilson was cited for harassment in connection with the incident. She is also banned from returning to the restaurant, police said. (Uniontown, PA)

12/29/09 Police are reviewing surveillance tapes from Smart and Final, where they said a man walked in to the store and stole approximately $100 of meat around 4:20 p.m. Monday. (Bullhead City, AZ)

12/28/09 Miroslaw Swierzbinski, 62, was charged with retail theft after being arrested at about 7:15 a.m. Dec. 22 in Westbrook Market, 2065 63rd St., according to Downers Grove police reports.

Swierzbinski was the overnight janitor and was taking items while working, according to reports.

He took deli sausage, Canadian bacon, olive oil, a plastic strainer, Colgate toothpaste $8.97, Golden Pheasant four-pack of beer and a four-pack of Svytury beer, according to reports. The items are valued at $60. (Downers Grove, IL)

12/22/09 An 18-year-old Sag Harbor man was arrested by Southampton Town Police at a residence on the Bridgehampton-Sag Harbor Turnpike at 10:01 p.m. last Thursday, December 17, and charged with second-degree harassment, a violation. Police said the man was involved in a domestic dispute during which he was accused of throwing a sausage, an apple and an orange, hitting the victim in the face numerous times. (Sag Harbor, NY)

12/21/09 McComb police are investigating the reported weekend theft of an 18-wheeler from the Market Max parking lot at 115 E. Presley Blvd.

Walter Peters of Franklinton, La., told police Sunday that his driver parked the rig at Market Max about 4 p.m. Saturday. When the driver went to get the truck about 1 a.m. Sunday, it was missing.

The truck is described as a 1995 maroon Peterbilt truck with PM Trucking LLC on the doors, a truck number 379 and a Louisiana tag, P168027.

The trailer is a white 48-foot refrigerated trailer containing meat products with the number 712 painted on it. (McComb, MS)

12/18/09 Kwik Trip, 2970 New Pinery Road: Police at 11:59 p.m. Monday took a report of the theft of food from the store. A man took a hot dog and a bag of nacho chips worth $5.67, throwing a $1 bill behind him as he left without paying for the balance of the cost, police said. (Portage, WI)

12/16/09 Police received a report from the 360 block of Winnow Court of a van in the neighborhood selling meat products. Police discovered that there was a warrant for the arrest of one of the men, age 22. (Sunbury, OH)

BONUS “CELEBRITY” ENTRY

12/11/09 A former sheriff’s deputy who admitted accepting bribes to give preferential treatment to “Girls Gone Wild” founder Joe Francis while jailed in Reno avoided prison time after U.S. prosecutors argued for leniency due to his cooperation in the case.

Ex-Washoe County deputy Ralph Hawkins was sentenced Friday to three years probation and fined $4,000 for accepting $3,200 in cash and tickets to Oakland Raiders football games from a Francis associate.

He acknowledged that in exchange, he had smuggled in sushi, barbecued chicken and other food to the soft porn mogul while he was being held on tax evasion charges last year.

Hawkins faced up to 10 months in prison. But Assistant U.S. Attorney Ron Rachow argued probation was appropriate and U.S. District Judge Robert C. Jones agreed. (Reno, NV)