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Told He Can’t Take Hamburger Home, Man Returns, Spray Paints “Jesus Cocaine” Everywhere

Lufkin Police have arrested a man for allegedly spray painting  “Jesus Cocaine” on walls at a Lufkin business because he was upset about not getting a take-out hamburger.
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Several windows appeared to have been shot out. Crosses and nondescript text accompanied the spray paint on the walls, which said “Jesus Cocaine,” according to the report.

A detective spoke with the owner of the [Dealers Auto Auction], who said that hamburgers were being served that day. The owner said he had a verbal altercation with Saxton, telling the man that he could not take a hamburger home, because there was nothing to contain it.

Make all the double-entendre jokes you want about David here, but you have to admit dude managed to pack a whole lot more excitement into his morning than any of the rest of us did.

Socorro police said David Quiroz was allegedly trying to steal beer, steaks and other groceries shortly before 8:30 a.m. when he was confronted by employees at the Big 8 store on North Loop. During a struggle with employees and a delivery worker, Quiroz allegedly grabbed the store manager by the crotch and refused to let go.

In this economy, the enterprising gentleman knows how to diversify.

Guns, Drugs and Raccoon Meat Seized from the Most Exciting Car Wash in the World

Four people were arrested at a North Houston car wash where, in addition to washes and waxes, illegal drugs and raccoon meat were sold, Houston police said Wednesday.

Undercover officers said they went inside the full-service car wash located in the 4300 block of Yale and were able to purchase marijuana, prescription drugs and liquor.
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In addition to that, investigators said illegal gambling was taking place. There were two dominoes tables set up.
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The owner Michael Maxwell said it’s all lies.

Good thing he didn’t get life. That certainly would have been embarrassing.

Tuna Sandwich Thief Sentenced To 70 Years

A man who attacked a Whole Foods security officer with a knife after stealing a tuna sandwich in January was sentenced to 70 years in prison Wednesday, said prosecutor Christopher Baugh.
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Baugh said Dayries has been convicted of offenses including burglary and theft, and has been to prison several times before in Texas and Louisiana. As a habitual felon, he faced a minimum of 25 years in prison and a maximum of life.

Mug Shot from Previous Story: Man Arrested for Stealing Sandwich

09/08/10 Security at Whole Foods Market near Fenway turned the catch of the day over to police.

Store officials told police that James Watson of Boston allegedly stuffed three bags of frozen Wild Key West Pink Shrimp down his pants and tried tailing it out of the store without paying Sunday afternoon, according to a police report. Watson was arrested and charged with shoplifting and trespassing. (Boston, MA)

9/23/10 A shoplifter is caught with shrimp in an unusual spot. Police reports show, Josephine Venzor, 41, was caught shoplifting shrimp at the HEB on Barrow Street.

According to the report, Venzor was caught with a bag of shrimp hidden in her bra. Police also say she had two bags of shrimp in her purse. The three bags were valued at over $100. Venzor was arrested for theft and according the APD, she has two prior convictions. (Abilene, TX)

10/01/10 Reporting Party wants to report a large quantity of shrimp found under his mattress. (Santa Barbara, CA)

09/08/10 Security at Whole Foods Market near Fenway turned the catch of the day over to police.

Store officials told police that James Watson of Boston allegedly stuffed three bags of frozen Wild Key West Pink Shrimp down his pants and tried tailing it out of the store without paying Sunday afternoon, according to a police report. Watson was arrested and charged with shoplifting and trespassing. (Boston, MA)

9/23/10 A shoplifter is caught with shrimp in an unusual spot. Police reports show, Josephine Venzor, 41, was caught shoplifting shrimp at the HEB on Barrow Street.

According to the report, Venzor was caught with a bag of shrimp hidden in her bra. Police also say she had two bags of shrimp in her purse. The three bags were valued at over $100. Venzor was arrested for theft and according the APD, she has two prior convictions. (Abilene, TX)

10/01/10 Reporting Party wants to report a large quantity of shrimp found under his mattress. (Santa Barbara, CA)

You just know Ricky Don must have a pretty awesome nickname down at the precinct at by now.

Man Arrested for Stealing Meat Second Time in One Month

Round two behind bars for an Odessa man who police say they caught with stolen meat.

He was arrested for the same crime just last month.

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Schorovsky was arrested back on August 23rd for stealing meat from the Albertson’s on West County Road.

Police say Schorovsky and another man stuffed meat in their pants and walked out of the store.

These people’s excuse for being late for work is better than yours.

A cow tongue with nails embedded in it stopped the MetroRail in its tracks Monday morning after the package was discovered between the tracks in East Austin.

Capital Metro Interim Manager of Security John Jones and security guards described the disturbing contents of the paper bag, which also had writing on the butcher paper.

07/16/10 Police arrested a man for throwing ground beef at a woman during an argument earlier this week.

According to Charleston police, the man was in a heated verbal argument in the kitchen with the mother of a woman who was over while he was making dinner. The incident occurred in an apartment on William Kennedy Drive.

Police say the verbal argument escalated and the mother knocked a metal tray with ground beef to the floor.

According to the mother, the man then picked up a portion of the meat and tried to throw it at the mother. However, he missed and struck the woman’s daughter in the face with the meat.

Police charged him with simple assault. The victim was not injured. (Charleston, SC)

07/16/10 Stolen: Ninety-three cases of meat and a video cassette, totaling $3,150, from a business in the 9200 block of North Navarro Street on Thursday. (Victoria, TX)

(Photo: quinn.anya via Flickr)