This story has inspired us to pen a new children’s book called “Spartanburg Meat Thief’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day”

Deputies said the manager reached into Campbell’s waistband and pulled out a package of tenderloin.

Campbell at first told the manager he didn’t have any more meat, but then he pulled out multiple packages of tenderloins and threw them on the ground, according to the manager.

Deputies said the manager told them Campbell then got in his car and tried to leave. Deputies said when Campbell couldn’t get this car started, he put it in neutral and tried to push it.

05/03/11 An Orangeburg woman said her 40-year-old son ate her leftover chicken Sunday evening without asking her permission, according to a Sheriff’s Office incident report.

The son acknowledged eating the leftover chicken but said he did not think his mother would call the law about the matter, the report said.

The mother requested her son be removed from the house. (Orangeburg, SC)

04/20/11 A homeowner caught a burglar eating chicken inside his kitchen late Tuesday night. Dylon David Elston, 21, of Wright Avenue, Kingston, was arraigned in Wilkes-Barre Central Court on charges of burglary, criminal trespass, theft and public drunkenness.

Brian Everhart told police that he heard a noise in his kitchen of his house on Reynolds Street and allegedly saw Elston eating chicken from the refrigerator.

Elston told Everhart he was looking for his friend’s house. Elston grabbed hot dogs from the freezer and ran out the back door, the criminal complaint says.

Police said they captured Elston in the 100 block of Nottingham Street. Elston denied he burglarized the house. (Plymouth, PA)

Hopefully their child is named Ralph Shute IV, because this is probably as close to a Meat Crimes Royal Family as we’re going to get.

Cheeseburger Brawl Leads to Woman’s Arrest

Police arrested a 23-year-old woman early Tuesday morning after she allegedly assaulted a police officer following a scuffle with her boyfriend over cheeseburgers.
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[Ralph Shute III] said they began throwing food at each other but that the altercation turned physical when [Taryn] Dawsey attacked him and struck him in the face.

Police then interviewed Dawsey, who said that Shute threw a cheeseburger in the toilet and then threw a cheeseburger at her.  She denied hitting Shute.

02/16/11 Farrah Elizabeth Peeler, 33, of 313 Laurens Road, was charged with aggravated criminal domestic violence.

[D]eputies responded to the home to find an argument still in progress. A man told officers that Peeler hit him in the chest with a cup and pulled a gun on him. The man told officers that Peeler pointed the gun in his direction, and told her son to move when he stepped in between them or she would shoot him.

Peeler told deputies that she did point the gun at the man and told him she was going to kill him, but she did not point the gun at her son, the report said. Officers did not find a gun.

Peeler said the argument began when the man threw fish sticks in her hair. (Landrum, SC)

02/14/11 Gahanna police dealt with road rage caused by a flying chicken nugget…

A juvenile driver told police he was leaving the parking lot of a business when he bit into a chicken nugget, didn’t like the taste, and threw it out the driver’s-side window.

The boy said a vehicle made a right turn into the parking lot at the same time, so the nugget hit the side of the car.

The boy told police a “very large” man jumped out of the vehicle and put his fist through the left passenger window of the boy’s car, showering the vehicle with broken glass. (Gahanna, OH)

We’ll just leave this here.

A Charleston man decided to have his fried chicken dinner and a beer inside a grocery store restroom Feb. 10, according to a police report.

North Charleston police were dispatched to the store on Dorchester Road because the 31-year-old possibly had stolen the chicken, according to a report.

The manager of the store told police that the man had walked into the store restroom about 4:45 p.m. with the chicken and beer and started consuming them inside. He then walked back out into the parking lot, still eating the fried chicken, the report says.

Officers met with the man in the parking lot, but he seemed to be having a hard time keeping his balance as he was stumbling, the report says.
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Officers then frisked the man for weapons but only found another piece of chicken, which was still warm, in his back right pocket.

We wish we could say this was our first time tagging a story “South Carolina” and “biting,” but we cannot.

Pair Accused of Shocking, Biting Store Employees in Attempt to Steal Meat

The employees told police that the suspects shocked them several times with a stun gun when they tried to stop them from leaving the store with a shopping cart full of about $766 worth of meat. One employee said a suspect bit him in the rib cage, according to an incident report.

Looks like it’s shaping up to be Trouser Meat week.

Shoplifter Says He Didn’t Steal, Only Put Item In His Pants

A Myrtle Beach Police Department incident report states 35-year-old Scott Horner attempted to steal a package of steaks from the Food Lion grocer on Hwy. 501 Sunday night.

Police say as Horner was being detained he yelled, “I have money for the steaks. I didn’t steal them; I just put them in my pants.”

If these gentlemen had consulted this blog, they would have known that you utilize garbage cans when boosting a massive haul of meat on bicycles.

(Note: 15 second pre-roll commercial on video)

Inside Mad’s Restaurant in downtown Camden, there are a few favorites that aren’t on the menu this week. One of them is hog jaws. “It’s too thick to be bacon and its got meat on it so its not fat back, it’s a huge hit,” said Lynn Roden. “We’ve had a lot of complaints we haven’t had it the last couple of days.”

That’s because someone cleaned them out Monday night. Hog jaws were just one item on a long list. “They took Boston butts, they took hog jaws, they took salmon fillets,” said Roden.
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A Camden police officer spotted the cyclists struggling to balance a load on the handlebars.

“I call the big one Bitey…”

Steak Thief Bites Store Manager, Fights Officers

A man is facing multiple charges after deputies say he wrestled with grocery store employees and bit one and then fought with deputies during his arrest — all in connection to the theft of steaks, deputies said.

Man Sentenced to Nine Years for Stealing Meat, Cheese and Pecans

Even after his comely moll unsuccessfully tried to take the fall for the Meat Crime. That’s love right there.

McFarland did not show up for his own trial and the trial started without him, Lancaster police officer Rickey Funderburk had already testified he saw McFarland steal the roasts and more, chased a fleeing McFarland out the door as McFarland threw meat from his clothes, then used his stun gun on McFarland and arrested him.

In McFarland’s pocket that day, Funderburk found what criminals and the cops who chase them call an “Equalizer” - a column of pennies wrapped in electrical tape, often used by thieves to thump a victim over the head.