Above - Tulsa police gather at the scene to discuss selfless bravery of victim.

Man Refuses Treatment for Self-Inflicted Gun Shot Wound Until He Knows His Steaks Will Be Safe

Tulsa Police and EMSA paramedics had to persuade a man who had shot himself in the leg while grilling steaks to go the hospital early Wednesday.

The unidentified man was on the balcony of his apartment near 12th and Gillette when he accidentally shot himself in the leg.

At first he told Tulsa Police he had been robbed and then shot.  

When EMSA showed up, he refused treatment, because he said he was afraid someone would steal his steaks.

Poor guy’s never going to find his way back to Sonic now.

Blood, shattered glass and corn dogs led officers to a burglary suspect in Shawnee.

Police arrested Dakota Lasley, 18, on complaints of second-degree burglary and obstruction. He’s accused of breaking into a Sonic Drive-In.
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During the investigation, officers said they found a trail of food from the Sonic to the home where Lasley was arrested, including foot-long hotdogs, hotdog buns, chicken breasts and corn dogs.

Now that we’ve watched 2010 careen over the horizon on a bicycle with five pounds of ribeye down its slacks, it’s time for you to vote on Meat Criminal of the Year!

While the below are our top five picks, if you don’t see your preferred dirtbag, we’re open to write-ins. Shockingly, the list is not totally dominated by the denizens of Florida, but with two entries, the state is finely represented. The list is, however, chock full of dudes. Ladies, let’s step it up for 2011!

OUR CONTESTANTS

  OHIO Man Arrested After Attacking ATM, Stealing Meat, Orange Flavored Mad Dog and CO2 Tank

  FLORIDA Elderly Man Shoplifts 100 Pounds of Clams After Blowing Social Security on Tattoo

  FLORIDA One-Eyed Meat Thief on Motorized Scooter will F*ck You Up!

  MISSOURI Charges Filed Against Lawnmower Riding, Hot Dog Eating Man On Epic Crime Spree

  INDIANA Man Goes on Supermarket Meat Rampage, Wants to Save Young Girls from Beef

  GEORGIA Meat Crime Blotter - Special “Why Can’t a Sex Offender Eat Hot Dogs Behind a Day Care Center’s Dumpster in Peace?” Edition

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AND FINALLY, since no Meat Criminal was identified, our hands-down favorite story of the year could not be included in the vote. But we thank you, Oklahoma, for your tidy stack of wild boars in a Carl’s Jr. drive-thru.

We look forward to bringing many thrilling new Meat Crimes to your attention in the New Year!

(“Grand Prix Moose” photo by Frank Trana)

It will never cease to amaze us how nimble some people can be with ten or more pounds of meat jammed in their trousers.

Man Arrested After Stuffing Eight Steaks Down His Pants

A man stuffed eight steaks in his pants at a Braum’s store and left without paying, but an employee saw him do it and called police. 

With the steaks in his pants, the man passed the checkout stands and got into a car to drive away, an employee told police Thursday.

04/15/10 Two Reynoldsville residents were cited for simple assault Saturday after a verbal altercation turned physical. A woman threw a package of frozen hot dogs and two packages of frozen hamburger at a man, striking him in the arm and breaking a window at a residence. The man then picked up a package of hamburger and threw it back at the woman, striking her in the head. (Reynoldsville, PA)

04/09/10 Ponca City police received a report at 12:02 a.m. Wednesday that a man on a bicycle stole meat from Albertson’s grocery store. A report was taken. (Ponca City, OK)

03/30/10 Jason E. Conaway, 31, was a suspect in several criminal investigations when he was spotted Monday on 28th Street north of Long Beach, Harrison County Sheriff’s Capt. Carl Rhodes said.

Conaway was seen stealing a green lunch box from one vehicle and doing something under another vehicle, Rhodes said.

Deputies surrounded the area and called in a K-9 unit. A tracking dog bit Conaway during the capture. Deputies said they found Conaway with a green lunch box, a cooler and a can of Vienna sausage. He is charged with auto burglary but Rhodes said other charges are pending. (Long Beach, MS)

Hey, so long as everyone had a good laugh…

(Photo by Roadsidepictures via Flickr)

Chicken Hut’s chicken must be exceptional.

01/29/10 The theft of a cooked pork chop was reported by an apartment dweller in the 1600 block of Sequoia Street. (Redding, CA)

01/28/10 A Ballard Drive woman was arrested Monday for misdemeanor theft and felony drug possession after she allegedly shoplifted a baked chicken from Kroger by eating it.

Christina M. Worthington, 25, was detained by store employees for allegedly eating a baked chicken from the grocery store’s deli and then attempting to leave without paying for it.

After Worthington was taken into custody by officers, a search uncovered four oxycodone pills, leading to the charge of first-degree possession of a controlled substance.

Worthington was lodged in the Madison County Detention Center. (Richmond, KY)

01/26/10 Truck Checked — Ponca City Police received a call at 12:20 p.m. Saturday reporting subjects selling seafood out of a truck. Officers contacted the subjects in the 500 block of Virginia and moved them on. (Ponca City, OK)

01/17/10 A 47-year-old man was arrested Jan. 17 on charges of retail theft and assault and battery.

Ozell “Sputnik” McNabb of DeFuniak Springs was seen in Walmart opening a bottle of “Usher” cologne and placing it inside his jacket, according to a DeFuniak Springs Police report.

The McNabb then walked to the deli, grabbed a bag of fried chicken and walked past the registers to leaved the store on U.S. Hwy 331.

A loss prevention officer approached McNabb and attempted to escort him back into the store when McNabb dropped the bag of chicken and pushed the officer. (DeFuniak Springs, FL)

10/28/09 Charges have been filed following an investigation into the burglary of Windy’s Catfish in Cartwright.

Nathan Ray Walker, 20, and Matthew Lynn Sexton, 20, have been charged with knowingly concealing stolen property.

According to court papers, Windy’s Catfish was burglarized Oct. 20, and later that day, Calera Police, with assistance from the Bryan County Sheriff’s Office, searched a home at 308 N. Third Ave. in Calera.

No one was home, the affidavit states, and in the freezer, officers found vacuum-sealed T-bone steaks, hushpuppies, chicken fried steaks, chicken strips and French fries.

According to police, the food items matched the description of what was stolen from Windy’s.

While officers continued to search the house, a man identified as Sexton drove up. The affidavit states that Sexton said he did not know about any stolen steaks or the sawed-off shotgun that officers found.

He was booked into jail and was also charged with possession of a shotgun with a barrel less than 18 inches.

Walker, identified as Sexton’s roommate, was charged later. (Calera, OK)

10/27/09 Eugene E. Pender, 47, of Coombs Avenue, was arrested Monday night at Save-A-Lot on the charge of shoplifting, accused of attempting to steal packages of ham from the North 2nd Street grocery store. He was released on his own recognizance. (Millville, NJ)

10/19/09 Warrant arrest: 12:09 a.m., 312 Central Way. A 22-year-old Carnation man was contacted in the Wendy’s parking lot after employees called stating that he was walking around to every door and trying to get in. On contact, he stated that he had just left the downtown bars and “Really needed a chicken sandwich.” The man was found to have an outstanding misdemeanor warrant for third degree theft and taken into custody. (Kirkland, WA)

10/18/09 On Oct. 18, an employee of Piggly Wiggly on U.S. 258 North, Kinston, reported someone concealed 15 ribeye steaks inside of his coat, left the store, and “came at” the manager with a vehicle. The steaks are valued at $150. The case status is listed as inactive. (Kinston, NC)

I applaud this gentleman for trying to casually exit a Walmart with about twenty pounds of pork stuffed down his pants.