This kind of thing would happen far less frequently if McDonald’s just installed private crying booths in their restaurants.

Man Arrested For Sprawling Out On McDonald’s Counter, Shouting About Cheeseburger

A Roxbury man was charged with causing a disturbance over a cheeseburger inside a McDonald’s on Friday.
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When officers went inside, they observed the suspect spread across the service counter shouting at employees about a cheeseburger.

Police said the employees were in fear and standing away from the service counter. The man’s behavior was also preventing other customers from placing their orders.

06/09/11 At 5:36 p.m., a Continental Court resident reported someone entered his home and stole blood thinner medication and three pieces of chicken from his refrigerator. According to police, the victim reported his phone lines are bugged by the thief, who has entered the home before. (Woburn, MA)

06/02/11 A woman was arrested June 2 for stealing under $500 and destruction of property at the Family Dollar store in the first block of Fenton Plaza. Police said the intoxicated woman opened a can of Dinty Moore Beef Stew and Chef Boyardee Ravioli and began eating them while in the store. She then spilled the ravioli on 10 towels and washcloths and then left the store without paying. As officers were at the store taking a report of the incident she returned and approached the officers, asking for a ride to visit her husband at the hospital. (Fenton Plaza, MO)

09/08/10 Security at Whole Foods Market near Fenway turned the catch of the day over to police.

Store officials told police that James Watson of Boston allegedly stuffed three bags of frozen Wild Key West Pink Shrimp down his pants and tried tailing it out of the store without paying Sunday afternoon, according to a police report. Watson was arrested and charged with shoplifting and trespassing. (Boston, MA)

9/23/10 A shoplifter is caught with shrimp in an unusual spot. Police reports show, Josephine Venzor, 41, was caught shoplifting shrimp at the HEB on Barrow Street.

According to the report, Venzor was caught with a bag of shrimp hidden in her bra. Police also say she had two bags of shrimp in her purse. The three bags were valued at over $100. Venzor was arrested for theft and according the APD, she has two prior convictions. (Abilene, TX)

10/01/10 Reporting Party wants to report a large quantity of shrimp found under his mattress. (Santa Barbara, CA)

09/08/10 Security at Whole Foods Market near Fenway turned the catch of the day over to police.

Store officials told police that James Watson of Boston allegedly stuffed three bags of frozen Wild Key West Pink Shrimp down his pants and tried tailing it out of the store without paying Sunday afternoon, according to a police report. Watson was arrested and charged with shoplifting and trespassing. (Boston, MA)

9/23/10 A shoplifter is caught with shrimp in an unusual spot. Police reports show, Josephine Venzor, 41, was caught shoplifting shrimp at the HEB on Barrow Street.

According to the report, Venzor was caught with a bag of shrimp hidden in her bra. Police also say she had two bags of shrimp in her purse. The three bags were valued at over $100. Venzor was arrested for theft and according the APD, she has two prior convictions. (Abilene, TX)

10/01/10 Reporting Party wants to report a large quantity of shrimp found under his mattress. (Santa Barbara, CA)

Congratulations to South Dakota on its first Meat Crime entry!

05/11/10 Residents of Lee Fort Terrace told police they were waiting for a food order from Sammy’s Roast Beef when a woman wearing a black leather jacket with “Pizza” on the back came into the apartment and took $21 from one of them. The group thought it was the delivery person who was now going to bring in their food, but she never returned. A few minutes later, a man from Sammy’s came to deliver their order. (Lee Fort Terrace, MA)

05/11/10 Police are investigating the apparent burglary Saturday of a home at 49 East Cajun Place that ended with the arrest of a 31-year-old Sioux Falls man on a charge of unlawful entry.

David Lee Morris was found sleeping on the resident’s couch just after midnight Saturday, police spokesman Sam Clemens said. Morris told police he’d paid a person he did not know $40 to sleep on the couch. The resident returned home and found Morris, as well as several empty cans and bottles of beer discarded throughout the home.

After Morris was taken to jail, the resident then reported that several items were missing in the home, including prescription medication, a pair of jeans, collectible coins and a dozen frozen pork chops. (Sioux Falls, SD)

I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest they check the closest pawn shop.

02/03/10 Three suspected shoplifters were arrested Saturday after they were caught with purloined vodka and crab meat, Pooler police reported.

Shortly before 7 p.m., officers were called to the Piggly Wiggly grocery store at 1042 U.S. 80, where an employee of nearby D&M Liquors pointed out a parked Buick, according to a police report.

The man told officers three people - two men and a woman - had entered his shop at 503 U.S. 80 and left with a bottle of vodka they didn’t pay for, police reported.

The three suspects left in the Buick, which the worker tracked down at Piggly Wiggly, according to police.

Officers waited in the parking lot until one of the men - identified as James Austin Roach, 29, of Savannah - strolled out of the grocery store, police reported.

As officers questioned Roach, they noticed bulges in his coat pockets, according to the report.

The objects turned out to be a pair of 16-ounce cans of crab meat, worth $18.99 apiece, that had been stolen from the grocery store, police reported. The liter-bottle of vodka, worth $6.99, was found in the Buick.

Police charged all three - Roach; Troy Brian Hancock, 35, of Bloomingdale; and Sarah Elizabeth Croon, 24, also of Bloomingdale - with theft by shoplifting, a misdemeanor.

Each suspect was booked at the Chatham County jail on an $800 bond, according to police. A court date was scheduled for March 4. (Savannah, GA)

02/02/10 Ten computer games, 200 movies, two game systems, three packages of meat and a 12-inch speaker were taken from a residence in the 500 block of East Lelia Avenue. (Florence, AL)

01/28/10 A trailer load of processed and frozen chicken was taken from Koch Foods sometime on Jan. 28 or Jan. 29. (Etowah, AL)

01/27/10 12:32 a.m. Caller from Wheeler Circle reports strong odor in hallway; Officers Richard Bennett and Neal David responded; officers detected odor of fried chicken. (Stoughton, MA)

I get the angle about not wanting to be cheated out of something you paid for, but really, who would want a larger portion of this revolting mess?

11/24/09 A Moncks Corner officer responded to a call at the Kangaroo Station on U.S. 52 about a suspicious person sleeping in a vehicle. When the officer arrived, he made contact with the subject, who stated he was not sleeping but simply waiting for his brother to meet him at that location. When the officer asked for identification, the man said he didn’t have any on him; after a few minutes of questioning, he admitted he drove there and his license was suspended.

While the officer was speaking with the subject, he happened to notice several packages of ham and bacon, still in their wrappers. The subject said he had no idea where it came from, that the vehicle was his girlfriend’s car and that the meat was “just there.”

Finally, the subject admitted stealing the meat from a store in Moncks Corner. Because of the time of day and the fact that the store was closed at that time, the officer arrested the subject for receiving stolen goods and transported him to Hill Finklea Detention Center.

When the subject got to the detention center, he became combative and detention center employees had to subdue him and place him into solitary confinement. (Moncks Corner, SC)

11/24/09 A Virginia man was arrested Monday evening for shoplifting after attempting to smuggle several food items out of a Myrtle Beach Wal-Mart in his pants.

An employee of the Wal-Mart on 541 Seaboard St. said he witnessed Gregory Baker, Jr., 27, of Rosehill, Va., enter the store and proceed to the electronics area, where he picked up a “messenger kit” and an “N-router” and concealed them in his clothing, according to the police report.

The employee said he watched as Baker went to the food section of the store and begin to put various food items, including beef jerky and cheesecake, inside of his pants. He then left the store out the front door without paying, the witness stated.

The loss prevention employee approached him, escorted him back to the office and had Baker return all of the items.

The total value of the items stolen was $116.44. Baker said he was stealing the items for Christmas, according to the report. (Myrtle Beach, SC)

11/12/09 4:22 a.m. — A caller along the 12200 block of SE McLoughlin Boulevard told police a weird smell was coming from an upstairs apartment, and the fire department refused to respond. She told police it smelled like beef stew, then said she thought it was drugs. It turned out to be curried chicken baking in an oven. (Milwaukie, OR)

11/10/09 At 10:46 a.m. Louie’s Seafood on Broadway reported the theft of six 10-pound boxes of haddock. Suspects entered through a rear metal door that had been pried open. (Raynham, MA)

When someone is making you bacon, do not attack them, no matter how disorderly the strips.  Doing so will only deny you access to bacon.