Greatest piece of movie tie-in merchandise ever produced?

Yeah, that would be this thing.

thedailywhat:

Animated Short of the Day: Hot dog and hot dog vendor settle their age-old score once and for all in this deliciously twisted Superjail!-esque animated short from Melbourne-based animation student Thomas Hunter.

[mrbuffalo.]

Justin Bieber Meat Face (via Smart Stop)

You never know when a hankering for pickled pig’s feet might strike. This gentleman understands the forward-thinking practice of “snack insurance.”

Pickled Pig’s Foot, Nibbled Sausage Found in Man’s Undies

A pickled pig’s foot and a partially eaten sausage have a number of things in common.

Both are meat, both are edible and both apparently were in a 50-year-old man’s underwear.

[Jacques] Roy Divido on Nov. 13 had the meats in his skivvies at the Indian River County jail where he’d been taken on a retail theft charge, according to a recently released arrest affidavit.
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A clerk said Divido ate part of a pickled sausage and “stuffed” the rest in his pants. The pickled wiener was valued at $1.

10/26/11 Various cuts of meat were reported stolen from a freezer in an unsecured garage Oct. 26. Among the missing meat: one chuck roast, two eye-of-round roasts, 10 pork chops and possibly a whole ham. (Parma Heights, OH)

11/08/11 A Colt semiautomatic handgun, a Remington 12-gauge shotgun, two Ruger revolvers, two loaded speed loaders for a revolver, two gun cleaning kits, two boxes of 12-gauge bird shot, one box of buckshot, one box of deer slugs and one box of Hamburger Helper mix belonging to Michael D. Lee were stolen and a door was damaged at a home in New Cambria between 8:30 a.m. and 4 p.m. Monday; $1,311 loss and damage. (Salina, KS)

“phantom camera, 1000 frames per second, meat in the face test”

Meat Crimes’ friend Vin does important work…

We want to make love to this gentleman’s decision making skills.

Reuben Sandwich Thief Makes Getaway on Forklift

Police say [Sean Faulkner] stole the forklift from a construction site on Babcock Road near McKnight.

Why did he steal it? He wasn’t just tired lugging a case of beer - he was hungry too.

That’s apparently why he drove the forklift about a mile down Babcock to Sieb’s Restaurant. He ordered a Rueben, but he didn’t pay for it.

That’s when he tried to make his getaway in a forklift. Ross Township police caught him.

Oh, judge, ye cowards who would hesitate to so gallantly defend a rack of ribs!

Underwear-Clad Woman Goes Berserk Over BBQ Ribs

Police said an argument over some barbeque Monday night resulted in fighting and property damage.
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Officers said they found a woman, later identified as 37-year-old Dameka L. Bryant, of 1958 Broadway St., standing in the driveway of the residence wearing only her bra and underwear.
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The residents told police Bryant became angry about the residents eating her barbecue ribs. The residents allegedly told Bryant to leave, at which point she kicked two holes in the drywall and threatened to beat them up.

It is official. There is no better citation on the books than “violation of insecure and leaky load.”

Anyway, sorry Indianapolis, Columbus and Bloomington, you’ll just have to wait for the next rig full of warm, oozing meat to head your way.

Truck Driver Cited for Hauling Dripping, Unrefrigerated Meat

A truck driver has been cited after thousands of pounds of raw meat were found unrefrigerated in the back of his rig, police said.
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Police said the temperature inside the trailer was 69.5 degrees, causing frozen chicken and beef to thaw and drip blood and juices onto the floor.
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Zhang was cited for a federal motor carrier violation of insecure and leaky load and was given a warning for speeding.

Said trouser bacon was valued at $11.49 a pack, so it’s obvious this jolly lass does not mess around with just any old Oscar Mayer.

Boosted Bacon Gets No Further Than Meat Thief’s Pants

A 53-year-old woman apparently didn’t bring home the bacon after a store manager spotted her jamming two packages of the tasty pork product in her pants.

Accused bacon bandit Vivian Nickerson was arrested on a retail theft charge after the Sept. 12 heist at the Save-A-Lot in the 600 block of Delaware Avenue in Fort Pierce, according to a recently released Fort Pierce police report.

Also arrested was accused meat thief Delores Brown, 63, who concealed three roasts and a steak.

(Thanks to Scripps Treasure Coast reporter Will Greenlee, for his ongoing coverage of Florida’s most important Meat Crimes!)